Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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