quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
