I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
