You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
