therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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