Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
