sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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