i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
