he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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