DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
