some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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