white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
