small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
