u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize