end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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