His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
