Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
