Umm I'm too high to move.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
