I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
