The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
