Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
