she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
