There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Church boner. Awkwardddd
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
