her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
