I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
