Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
