I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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