All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
worst night to have a conscience
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize