I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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