Do you still have your period?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
