I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
