If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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