I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
