woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Girls should come with a carfax report
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
