I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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