ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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