Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
