we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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