When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
