He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
