when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
