What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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