that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
