I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
