I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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