just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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