i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize