Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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