Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
