I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't deserve a penis
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
