She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
