East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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