um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
