my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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