like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize