We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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