When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
