So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize