If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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