im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
