You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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